Helpful ReplyHot!Before someone you loves dies

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Cybotron
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/16 22:52:49 (permalink)
JUDGEDREDD
It's never the end mate, we are blessed that we can start a new if we like. Whilst you're in a negative mode you'll just have a negative outlook, two days from now you might wake up and feel great, if you try and do some of what I've suggested then in time it will help you. It's not an overnight thing but it's worth doing. 
 
Please don't think about doing anything silly, pack the drink away and get a decent nights sleep. 





This 
 
You may not believe it now mate, but the way you’re feeling will change.   
 
 
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 01:06:33 (permalink)
Does anyone have a contact for Geordie, he hasn't been online for the past 2 hours, hopefully just asleep but it's going to be on my mind all night now 
OEM
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 04:31:11 (permalink)
Hope you're alright Geordie.


Nakoma
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 08:29:42 (permalink)
As others have said. All feelings pass both the good and negative. There is lots of fantastic help out there, you have to just seek and ask for it. Which can often be the hardest step. You have to be desperate, broken and willing to try things that maybe you considered because if your own preconceptions.

Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.

I had to change a few years ago as I knew I couldn't go on the way I was. I lived in fear inside my head for a long time not admitting I had a problem. There's no shame in asking for help, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The world is a beautiful place if you allow yourself to see it.

I spent years worrying about things that I couldn't change. Conversely worrying about things that hadn't happened yet all to take the focus off actually living and fully enjoying my present life. It came down to being uncomfortable in my own skin and what was in my head. Until I couldn't look myself in the mirror. Today I can do that with the tools I have learned. Also with the belief that whatever things will be OK.

It's a bit self indulgent but some great good feels in this film.
https://aquestformeaning-themovie.com

Things that helped me? Exercise and eating healthier. Getting out of my own thinking by seeing friends or helping others. I did EMDR therapy for some PTSD. I also attend a 12 step program which has given me great amount of support. It helped me work through a lot of shit I collected over the years and gave me the tools to lead a content life. Also the belief we have to happy like in the films is rubbish. Aim for contentment with the basics of life and with no expectations and you won't be disappointed, anything else is a bonus to be grateful for.

I've found writing a diary helpful to process and let go of feelings like ex girlfriends. Stopping them move on is selfish. Meditation also helps clear cluttered thoughts.

PM me if you have any questions or want to talk.
post edited by Nakoma - 2018/06/17 08:57:10
Majik
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 09:24:43 (permalink)
Head up Geordie, better times round the corner


KnuckleHead
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 11:27:16 (permalink)
puttin down the booze is defo a good start.
c’mon Geordie, ppl on here only know you on a forum level and we all like you, that’s not easy to achieve with us bastards.
If you’re going through Hell, keep going!
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 12:23:14 (permalink)
I'm quite worried about geordie, anyone know him irl or have contact? I've managed to get his Instagram and sent him a message but no response. Last online 13h ago and the last few responses in here are quite worrying
MellowHype
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 12:54:32 (permalink)
Hope you're ok Geordie... keep going mate.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to navigate through it
Aunty West
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 15:48:51 (permalink)
JUDGEDREDD
I'm quite worried about geordie, anyone know him irl or have contact? I've managed to get his Instagram and sent him a message but no response. Last online 13h ago and the last few responses in here are quite worrying


cheers man. not sure about instagram as not seen owt on there.

i guess i have to keep ploughing through shit. i probably shouldnt be letting it all out on a music forum either.

But it is what it is
Daniel Snakeman
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 15:48:53 (permalink)
Last time he posted a load of stuff like that we exchanged several PMs and then he vanished for about a week. I was pretty worried but when he re-surfaced it turned out he had just been taking a break from the net.
Daniel Snakeman
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 15:50:15 (permalink)
There he is lol

keep posting if that's what you feel like doing G. Or PM me or anyone else you feel like.
Aunty West
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 16:02:01 (permalink)
i didnt mean to burden people with my shit. sorry
Daniel Snakeman
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 16:25:05 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby S8 2018/06/17 17:24:01
It's not a burden for us. It's a release for you.
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 16:37:31 (permalink)
It's not a burden at all, anytime you feel like sharing just do it bud. Helping each other makes the world a better place. 👊
Cybotron
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 16:55:46 (permalink)
geordie007
i didnt mean to burden people with my shit. sorry



A lot of us one here want to know mate
 
And who knows - we might need to share our troubles with you one day
SmokedEggs
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 16:56:38 (permalink)
geordie007
i didnt mean to burden people with my shit. sorry


It's not a burden! It's words on a screen. If it helps you to vent on here then fill your boots. No need to feel any shame.
SW14
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 17:04:21 (permalink)
geordie007
ive tried to read the posts made since mine but i just cant seriously deal with life right now.
i have moved here cos i wanted to run away yet ita made things worse for me. im drinking like a cunt right now and im doing shit work which im happy to do for the wage bit no matter what i say to my self my counsellor or even a pshycatrist(sp) the other day im stuck in a loop of being good and then making sure ill be dead before im 45.

i miss my ex far to much to be healthy as thats all i think of..

i dont know anymore i properly do.not.fucking.know.any more.

yet i used to before they changed what it was


We may have our disagreements in the politics thread but you come across as a good person. Genuinely hope you get to a better place cos that sounds shit and I can certainly relate to bits of it.
S8
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 17:26:35 (permalink)
Snakey
It's not a burden for us. It's a release for you.


What snakes said; the banana board had changed in the last few years and we are trying into an old men’s working club that seems to keep an eye on each other.

I don’t really know what to say as I have buried my shit deep and hidden it, but I hope something makes you smile this week and you realise it is all worth living for
post edited by S8 - 2018/06/17 17:29:36
21 21
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/17 17:54:05 (permalink)
geordie007
i didnt mean to burden people with my shit. sorry



I've sent you a PM fella. 
Grade
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 01:24:45 (permalink)
Keep on keepin' on Geordie! It might not feel like it right now but you will turn the corner mate 🤜


Patterman
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 08:56:49 (permalink)
I went through a serve bit of depression 7 years ago when I broke up with my ex and then got made redundant a month later. I couldn't bring myself to be with anyone else for two years and ended up having to move back in with my parents as I couldn't get out of bed. Everyone told me to give it time but it's so true. I put on 3 stone but exercise and healthy eating really did help with everything. 5 years on my life is totally different. I'm much happier in a new relationship then I ever was before and have a two year old girl now. I never thought anyone would ever love me again and more important I'd never stop loving my ex. It's hard people telling you to stay positive when you're in depression as you can't see a way out. Small steps. Exercise really is the best thing to do right now. I remember crying myself to sleep wanting not to wake up the next day. Give it enough time and things can get better.
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 09:41:40 (permalink)
I've gone through pretty severe bouts of depression B2b anxiety which is mostly rooted in my childhood, cost me jobs, relationships and the rest, hitting 30 has kinda changed my outlook and although I'm going though a lot of shit again (it never changes!!!) I'm managing a lot better because I'm filling my time with actual enjoyment. Got a beautiful little pup, playing badminton on the regs, spending time with friends and cycling every where. LIGQE.



S8
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 09:49:52 (permalink)
I want your dog.
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 09:54:59 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby S8 2018/06/18 11:01:49
Reginald aka Reggie aka Big Reg, absolute beaut
Sheriff Lobo
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 10:01:12 (permalink)
Big Reg 4 mod.
 
Also, hang in there Geordie Lad. For what it's worth, I think you're a massively good egg.
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 10:36:59 (permalink)
Some cunt down voted reg on imgur and I'm out for blood. Dickheads lol
Whagwan
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 11:11:26 (permalink)
I can only echo what others have said here, but thoughts with you Georgie...
RUSSELL CLARTY
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 11:32:52 (permalink)
Nakoma
OK been meaning to weigh in on this for a while. The problem is not drum and bass, drugs, alcohol or the place you live. Hundreds of thousands of people use these things responsibly and enjoy them without negative consequences. People live in shit little towns perfectly content with their mundane lives lives, semi detached house and 2.4 children. So what is the common denominator? You. The problem is within you and unless that changes no amount of changing the external people, places and things will ever fix you.



 
I read this comment over the weekend and although I wouldn't want to argue with the content, it's debatable that the tone is a little accusatory. 
 
After all, to be told it is all "us" that is the cause of our misery gives us sovereignty over our shit but no other means of doing anything about it. While it is true that our reaction to events dictate the outcome, events can't always be predicted, and shit will always happen. 
 
Your later post about meditation is a good start to learning how to develop strategies that will help you realise what it is about "you" that might be the problem, the good news it is in fact less what it is about "you", and more about the whole concept of "you" being a very unhelpful concept in the first place. 
 
Geordie, it's very sad to see a nice guy putting himself through such a hard time. Give yourself a break, your mate would never have wanted you to beat yourself up so harshly about such a thing. It's what we do with people when we are around that is vital. Go and hook up with a buddy, even if it's on the blower. Big up.  


RAYZA
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 12:54:03 (permalink)
Funerals are pointless anyway, I'd not go to a family members and not feel any guilt, my parents agree and don't want funerals
KnuckleHead
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Re: Before someone you loves dies 2018/06/18 13:05:44 (permalink)
JUDGEDREDD
I've gone through pretty severe bouts of depression B2b anxiety which is mostly rooted in my childhood, cost me jobs, relationships and the rest, hitting 30 has kinda changed my outlook and although I'm going though a lot of shit again (it never changes!!!) I'm managing a lot better because I'm filling my time with actual enjoyment. Got a beautiful little pup, playing badminton on the regs, spending time with friends and cycling every where. LIGQE.





 
Even the dog looks depressed Dredd lol
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