Hot!@ Dad and Bass Arena

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Smokey McPot
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2017/04/14 19:40:02 (permalink)

@ Dad and Bass Arena

How do you wrangle a toddler built like The Juggernaut?

My nephew is staying for the bank holiday. He doesn't respond to sit, stay or don't touch that.

Any help?
#1

20 Replies Related Threads

    mouse oxford
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 19:59:26 (permalink)
    Lots and lots of exercise. Small children don't like sitting still. Exhaust them into submission.
     
    Fully charged tablet for when you need to collapse. 
     
    God Speed. 
    #2
    gutlessrhyme
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 20:17:26 (permalink)
    How old is he? Teach him some fucking manners.
     
    Or if you're lazy/don't care......iPad.
    #3
    Smokey McPot
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 20:20:20 (permalink)
    3 and a bit.

    I've given him some ice cream in the hope he will have a sugar come down shortly and fall asleep.
    #4
    gutlessrhyme
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 20:23:26 (permalink)
    Smokey McPot
    3 and a bit.

    I've given him some ice cream in the hope he will have a sugar come down shortly and fall asleep.



    Fresh air b2b running around. Take him to a forest or something. Ice cream if he's good. Get him to bed by 7:30. Hit the wine
     
    PROFIT ???
    #5
    DNBADMAN
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 20:58:22 (permalink)
    Refuse to babysit until your bro or sis sort their parent skillz
    #6
    DNBADMAN
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 21:00:32 (permalink)
    Actually I'm just being a dick. Work out what his hobby is. Tell him he can't have it until he eats his veg. Or make friends with him by playing some stuff he likes. Then tell him he can't have the shit he likes until he stops being naughty.
    #7
    gutlessrhyme
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 21:09:14 (permalink)
    or just merk him
    #8
    w1003
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/14 21:15:50 (permalink)
    Seaside, coastal air b2b run about will sort him. if not then reach for the benylin night time remix

    sigs have returned
     
    BRB
    #9
    _Nearly 50 FFS_
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 09:21:51 (permalink)
    Pub with bouncy castle in the garden, win win imo.
    #10
    Smokey McPot
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 10:22:20 (permalink)
    I've taken him to a park with a digger and a massive slide. Should be good for a few hours. My Mrs fed him a pitta immediately before dinner and he didn't eat his food after. Stupid woman!
    #11
    SmokedEggs
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 12:10:46 (permalink)
    Keep him occupied with stuff. Don't feed him sugary stuff. Def. no e-numbers. If all else fails then Peppa Pig is like crack for little uns. That's always our emergency solution for situations like the hairdresser
    #12
    Law
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 12:25:46 (permalink)
    Tombstone piledrive him
    #13
    Smokey McPot
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 14:26:05 (permalink)
    I have driven to Biggleswade to seek sanctuary at my hairdressers.
    #14
    Daniel Snakeman
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 14:33:25 (permalink)
    Beat him
    #15
    Smokey McPot
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 14:34:20 (permalink)
    He wouldn't even flinch. He's a hard northern bastard.
    #16
    dotarr
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 16:13:59 (permalink)
    Give him gin until he falls asleep.
    #17
    Daniel Snakeman
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/15 16:30:08 (permalink)
    simon.r
    Give him gin until he falls asleep.


    Works on me👍
    #18
    Smokey McPot
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/16 00:32:36 (permalink)
    simon.r
    Give him gin until he falls asleep.


    I took him to the pub. If I was single, it would have been amazing. Who knew toddlers were so popular with women?
    #19
    Tommy the Coat
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/16 10:14:45 (permalink)
    Smokey McPot
    I took him to the pub. If I was single, it would have been amazing. Who knew toddlers were so popular with women?


    It's mad ent it. My nipper seems to be able to turn on this inexplicable charm that doesn't exist outside of social (or public) situations.

    We were at a wedding over Christmas and during the speeches, he decided to walk around everyone asking if they wanted a malteaser. We assumed he was being a massive nuisance and the mother in law and mrs were about to cause a scene and drag him out... Turns out everyone loved it, he got incorporated in to the speeches and everyone started giving him pound coins for the malteasers. He made about 18 quid. Which i forced him to give to me like a filthy pikey.


    #20
    MalcolmTucker
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    Re: @ Dad and Bass Arena 2017/04/16 11:42:39 (permalink)
    Take him windsurfing
    #21
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