Helpful ReplyHot!Fucking Up

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Author
simon.r
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 22:09:59 (permalink)
Ooh yeah, drunkenly knocking my glasses off on a tree branch and trying to find them while the fit lass I was pretty much guaranteed to shag in the grubby wasteland we were in wandered off. That and bitching about it to my housemate so my mates all rip the piss to this day.
post edited by simon.r - 2013/04/11 22:12:46
#31
Travs
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 22:48:55 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby NZPhenom 2017/04/17 22:00:37
Reversed one company car into a fence, ripping the bumper off.

On a later occasion I wrote off the same car.

Also forgot to off-hire a welder from one of my contracts, eventually costing the company about 3 grand (although nobody found out about this).
#32
Temp0
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 22:50:53 (permalink)
post edited by Temp0 - 2013/04/11 22:52:26
#33
simon.r
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 22:54:40 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Travs

Reversed one company car into a fence, ripping the bumper off.

On a later occasion I wrote off the same car.

Also forgot to off-hire a welder from one of my contracts, eventually costing the company about 3 grand (although nobody found out about this).

Lol so rather than paying him off at the end of the work he shut up and kept getting paid? Nice work if you can get it.
#34
Travs
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 22:58:51 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: simon.r

ORIGINAL: Travs

Reversed one company car into a fence, ripping the bumper off.

On a later occasion I wrote off the same car.

Also forgot to off-hire a welder from one of my contracts, eventually costing the company about 3 grand (although nobody found out about this).

Lol so rather than paying him off at the end of the work he shut up and kept getting paid? Nice work if you can get it.


Sorry by 'welder' I actually mean a welding machine, which I didn't arrange to be off-hired from site. Duly went missing in the 3 months before I remembered about it........
#35
Willfunk
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:00:38 (permalink)
LOL at you thinking it was an actual human welder Simon
#36
simon.r
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:06:00 (permalink)
Sorry I don't know much about 'plant'
#37
Willfunk
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:11:06 (permalink)
All you need to know is when I say put it in the van, you put it in the fucking van
#38
simon.r
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:18:46 (permalink)
Given most the tradesmen I drink with how they've not faced driving bans is nothing short of a miracle.
#39
NZPhenom
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:39:40 (permalink)
Filled a couple of diesels with petrol back in my student gas-pumping days.

Nightmare.
#40
processuk
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:56:33 (permalink)
I fuck up at work on a daily basis.
If I'm ever questioned about it, I blame the error on the other guy who is on suspension
#41
metzie
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/11 23:57:45 (permalink)
This thread has great potential. Could be the next MTTBM
#42
Dubtitled
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:01:16 (permalink)
Deleted all the music, sound effects and voice over for a client's TV program at work.
#43
metzie
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:05:43 (permalink)
I recently wrote an SQL statement, put the brackets in the wrong place and deleted several thousand rating lines (price information) from a database currently being UAT'd by a client, go-live in a few weeks after being developed for 18 months
#44
Miss SD
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:11:19 (permalink)
Drove my aunties car in Canada when i was about 21 and was pulling onto her driveway and panicked and got the brake and accelerator mixed up and drove it into her house quite hard. She said it felt like an earthquake.

Then a few years later had to drive caspars car as it was snowing and it got stuck in our flat car park so he had to push it while I steered. Again for some reason I panicked and slammed my foot on the accelerator - i thought it was the brake and could see Caspar in the wing mirror shouting 'what the fuck are you doing??????) and the car only actually stopping because I had driven side on into a neighbours car lol

3 years later I still get the odd comment about the fact i lost him his 10 years no claims Oops
#45
BrianBadonde
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:12:18 (permalink)
Bought instead of sold
#46
Temp0
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:13:29 (permalink)
My word.
#47
Shiverman
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:18:07 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: metzie

I recently wrote an SQL statement, put the brackets in the wrong place and deleted several thousand rating lines (price information) from a database currently being UAT'd by a client, go-live in a few weeks after being developed for 18 months


Sorry...so you were putting in SQL statements in the live database. And you don't have a backup? Do you work for a local council? Or the Royal Mail? They're the only organisations that I could imagine being so completely incompetent
#48
Kilik
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:19:51 (permalink)
Aged about 13, decided to make a small fire in a soon to be re-developed community centre and ended up burning down half the building
post edited by Kilik - 2013/04/12 00:21:18
#49
Horsey Boy
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:26:28 (permalink)

worked on stevenage mcdonalds drive through one day in about 97, some kind of double mexican thing was the spesh, i rocked up on no sleep, some guy pulled in to order 8 mexican meals, i sent all 8 burgers out with no meat in as the 16 patties burnt to a crisp behind me, he never came back, pussy









#50
Rachel
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 00:38:04 (permalink)
lost the Christmas party money. and I'd already given in my notice and was leaving to travel instant suspect theft it. I didn't wouldn't ever do that.

#51
PapaJaro
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 01:12:49 (permalink)
Just received my first paycheck from an umbrella company. Suspiciously high no idea what I'm doing. No fuck up as yet although I sense a large one looming..
#52
simon.r
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 01:20:51 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: metzie

I recently wrote an SQL statement, put the brackets in the wrong place and deleted several thousand rating lines (price information) from a database currently being UAT'd by a client, go-live in a few weeks after being developed for 18 months

I'm not sure how arsing up brackets can do that, but I've learned to ALWAYS write the where first.

I've also mixed up live and test; then ripped shit out of live (at 5pm on a friday) then realised how stupid that was on the drive home. Makes for a prangy weekend.
#53
SusanBoyle
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 01:53:42 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Rachel

lost the Christmas party money. and I'd already given in my notice and was leaving to travel instant suspect theft it. I didn't wouldn't ever do that.


ORIGINAL: PapaJaro

Just received my first paycheck from an umbrella company. Suspiciously high no idea what I'm doing. No fuck up as yet although I sense a large one looming..


#54
Goodone
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 05:23:47 (permalink)
Don't think I have ever fucked up once apart from that time I just spunked all over myself one night and then just turned over and went to sleep
#55
Scotteo
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 07:02:51 (permalink)
Plugged the wrong power unit into a CCTV DVR a few days before it was due in court as the sole bit of evidence in a murder case. Panicked when it wouldn't properly start up. Could have fried the thing but luckily the shit old box had a fail safe. Guy ended up going down for manslaughter charges.
#56
joebastard
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 07:27:28 (permalink)
paid 100,000 into the wrong bank account at work the other day, shit myself for a bit but it was absolutely fine in the end. and it turned out it wasn't my fault anyway.
#57
Zint
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 07:32:34 (permalink)
priced and was successful with a £350k tender. had not priced £45k worth of M&E work and forgot to put it in my clarifications that M&E was to be carried out by the principle contractor. bye bye OH&P on that one.
#58
_ICE_
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 08:40:39 (permalink)
in my first job when i was 17 at a call centre selling car insurance, bloke rings up asking for a quote, i look at the time and realise that its just a few minutes from my lunchbreak. i tell him to hold for a few moments while i begin his quote. i grab my jacket and leave, assuming he will just hang up after a few minutes as the line charges 50p/m. i have lunch and come back and sit at my desk, i cant believe what i see. this cunt has waited on the phone for over an hour and is still there. i have no idea what im going to be able to say to him so i just cut him off.

about an hour later i get called into the office and apparently this guy runs a small business and has all of his vehicles insured with the company, but now wants to cancel them all. get a major bollocking and decide its best to hand my notice in.

to this day i dont know what sort of fuckhead would stay on hold for over an hour.

i also got stoned for the first time on my break at this job and was trying to do insurance quotes while not being able to remember anything for more than 5 seconds. with severe cotton mouth, i was asking this guy the same questions 3 or 4 times, but wording them slightly different each time, so that it would register in my brain. luckily he was a young bloke and was cool with it. wasnt much fun though.
post edited by _ICE_ - 2013/04/12 08:43:37
#59
Overlay
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RE: Fucking Up 2013/04/12 08:57:04 (permalink)
A group of us went out to this weird place that had roller disco. I have a go (it's a bit shit), i burn over to the barrier to impress this girl i'm chirpsing and do a speed stop, like you'd do with proper ice skates. Totally fuck it up and end up do a flying headbutt into her face
#60
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