I just moved into a new place and I've got the girls munching my fucking munch. fuck dat, nom sayin?
omg 2012 coming to the forum to ask for advice, is this real life? Yes niggaz, hush them gums and offer constructive thoughts and ideas yeah, safe blad :D
Best to just ignore it and pass it off as just some bread and bananas or to tell them politely or not so that that aint how i get down and the next time I will have their head in a bag?
Last house mate was some Alaskan dude who had only 3 shirts and a big beard.
When the new housemate came in and checked out the room there was a funny smell. Turns out the ex hadn't washed the sheets for the whole duration of his 2 month stay. We're in the tropics so it fucking stunk. Same guy also had the constant shits and never produced a solid stool. Mucky tramp.
that really rustled my jimmies. You must be unwell or something...
When i was at Uni Halls, my flatmate hid a sharp knife into loaf of sliced bread so the offender would cut their hands open whenever they went into the packet. He also told me he wanks whilst sitting upside down on the sofa so he can cum on his face.
lol cheers, reckon I'll go with what runup said and hopefully the jimmies remain unrustled. rat is bang on as well, 2013,fucking up a meme... FML and yolo not even once.
that really rustled my jimmies. You must be unwell or something...
When i was at Uni Halls, my flatmate hid a sharp knife into loaf of sliced bread so the offender would cut their hands open whenever they went into the packet. He also told me he wanks whilst sitting upside down on the sofa so he can cum on his face.
lol cheers, reckon I'll go with what runup said and hopefully the jimmies remain unrustled. rat is bang on as well, 2013,fucking up a meme... FML and yolo not even once.
I'm actually really happy there are other people on this board who share this stupid internet humour.
The reformed junkie. Excellent guy, gutted he left actually, but while he was here he would have the occasional *lapse*. Probably best thing for him was moving out. Could do rubik's cube in a couple of minutes, works in computers doing maths stuff.
The gay ket addict from Zimbabwe. Unemployed.
Night-shift guy. Moaned about noise during the day, pissed on the toilet seat and never cleaned up. Dude was 40-ish. Pain in the butt.
The sniff-dealer. Has two kids by his long-term gf, but regularly cheats on her, for some reason she took him back. Unemployed.
The Porn Dwarf. Alcoholic, good with I.T., great bloke when he's sober, but prone to 4 day benders blaring terrible 80s music all hours. Fuck I wish youtube had never been invented some times. Unemployed.
The gambler. When he was a teenager, he spent six months or something sulking and not moving - his legs look like he had polio. Unemployed, but he gambles like it's his profession - goes down to Bristol 3 times a week to play high stakes poker. Had a row with the landlord though and moved out after barely a week.
The survivors:
The paranoid schitzophrenic. Only manages to stay in the house for a couple of days before his inability to do basic things (like feeding himself) mean that he goes back to his mum's (he's 35, unemployed). Absences of two weeks are not unusual, so in this respect he's a great housemate!
The landlord. Unemployed alcoholic, 6, 7, 8 day benders are not beyond him. His behavior when he's drunk is one of the biggest problems in the house. I've known him since school, so on nights when he's lying on he sofa in a drunken stupor screaming his head off, I will fill up a bucket of water, walk downstairs, and calmly pour bucket of water over him, and then return to bed in an attempt to sleep.
It's cheap. Me and my then gf of 9 years took out a 10 grand loan together. In my name. I'm paying £300 a month on that, and it'll be done by August and then I'll be out of here. If you think people pinching your bread is out of order, bwahahahaaa, I've got stories that'll make your toes curl. They'll make a good book some day.
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