Helpful ReplyHot!Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus

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Mr Lean
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2012/04/23 19:29:44 (permalink)

Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus

I stole the idea from Football 365: (http://forum.football365.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24277&start=2280)
 
What annoying things do you do/have you done to your significant other?
 
I have a few:

I have replaced all pet names/terms of endearment/her name with: "Sweet Prince". She f**king hates it. I dont even know why I do it. She says its because I'm gay, or because I'm a f**king idiot. I left a message on her Mums answerphone (who knows nothing about this) referring to her in this way. Cue girlfriend ringing, and screaming "WHY ARE YOU SO f**king WEIRD!!" (I used to refer to her exclusively as Stinky, but she started to like it, so I had to put a stop to that!)


I also know for a fact that at 3.30 everyday she arrives at the school to pick up the kids. 3.33 everyday I ring her, and demand that she tells me what type, and what colour underwear she has on. Strangely she always does it. Never questions, never says no - but gets all flustered and all embarrassed, and mumbles the answer to the question.


I also honk her tits, or pat her fanny, which she hates.


Whenever we have takeaway Indian, I will always hide a big spoonfull of Vindaloo under her korma.

I watch Eastbound & Down at my house, but I also have it on series record at hers. She hates it, with a passion (she hates most stuff I like) so I watch it at home, but then at the weekends I tell her I havent seen it and I want to watch it there. I always act like its the funniest thing ever, but also make the effort to laugh very slightly before the actual funny parts.

There are loads more, I am just trying to think.
 
#1
EscapeGoat
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:33:50 (permalink)
Fart under the covers and trap her underneath.
#2
MR.EQ
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:41:17 (permalink)
Pull her trousers down when she's carrying things she can't just drop.

SIGS, EVERYTHING SIGS.
#3
Kola Nut
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:41:50 (permalink)
Punch her in the face as hard as possible.
#4
NoSeBag.v2
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:44:04 (permalink)
when packing bags in the supermarket a pretend im wafting air in to bag to open then put it over her head

#5
Jme133
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:46:41 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Kola Nut

Punch her in the face as hard as possible.


#6
DJIRAH
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:46:54 (permalink)
Fart when she's on the toilet mid piss then close the bathroom door



FREE CRAZY!

[sm=drunk[1].gif] [sm=drunk[1].gif]
#7
jim_skreech
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 19:48:00 (permalink)
Pop a pencil into her arse crack when she's bent over.
#8
Jimmy2Shoes
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:00:09 (permalink)
Just dropping my guts really, can't think of anything else
#9
Miss SD
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:01:18 (permalink)
I think most men get enjoyment from farting in enclosed spaces where the girlfriend is and then exiting. The room sharpish
#10
James OD
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:01:30 (permalink)


ORIGINAL: mrEQ

Pull her trousers down when she's carrying things she can't just drop.

 Personal favourite of mine.




#11
_Modus_
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:03:03 (permalink)
Go to hand her something (the TV remote, the paper, her post) then chuck it on the floor as she goes to grab it.

Interrupt pretty much anything she says with a mundane fact about cricket.

Take a sip of water without her looking, go to give her a kiss, then spit it in her face at the perfect moment. (not done that one for a while now... it's a bit of a lottery what reaction your gona get).


#12
Mr Lean
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:03:49 (permalink)


ORIGINAL: DJModus

Go to hand her something (the TV remote, the paper, her post) then chuck it on the floor as she goes to grab it.


 
I am stealing this.
#13
JUDGEDREDD
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:06:11 (permalink)
pretend I'm still in a relationship with her
#14
Each
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:09:15 (permalink)
Putting knives the wrong way up in the drainer pot / draw liner.

matching odd socks
#15
DJ_H20
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:27:15 (permalink)
poke her bumhole.
#16
joebastard
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:40:03 (permalink)
generally farting at her

burped on her head once she went fucking mental

telling her its definitely her who made the mess (it wasnt)

cant really wind her up too much shes quite fragile bless her
#17
_Modus_
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:43:59 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Mr Lean

ORIGINAL: DJModus

Go to hand her something (the TV remote, the paper, her post) then chuck it on the floor as she goes to grab it.



I am stealing this.


I do it pretty much every day.. She's so used to it now it has absolutely no effect either. I still get so much enjoyment out of it though.
#18
Smokey McPot
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:48:32 (permalink)
Saying 'can I just stop you there' as she's part way through a rant/sentence, and then walking away.

Not even pretending I'm interested in whatever it is she witters on about.

Explaining things to her in a generic northern accent do she will understand them better.
#19
IKOS
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 20:57:08 (permalink)
I used to enjoy intermittently blowing/tickling my girlfriends ear while she was trying to relax/watch TV until she exploded Works well with cats and dogs as well.

Calling her into a room and when she came in and said what, just replying with 'nothing'
#20
Lohn
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:01:53 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: joebastard

generally farting at her

burped on her head once she went fucking mental

telling her its definitely her who made the mess (it wasnt)

cant really wind her up too much shes quite fragile bless her


#21
cal2
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:03:50 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: IKOS

I used to enjoy intermittently blowing/tickling my girlfriends ear while she was trying to relax/watch TV until she exploded Works well with cats and dogs as well.

Calling her into a room and when she came in and said what, just replying with 'nothing'


i am also partial to this
LOL at doing it to dogs tho
#22
NEGUS
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:04:00 (permalink)
I have so many of these, none of them really translate well into writing tho.

generally i like taking a joke way beyond a joke. like the other day I was throwing a cushion at her face as she was talking, at first she thought it was quite funny but I managed to take it to the point after about, 45 mins of stopping and starting again when she thought it was over, where she was sobbing begging me to stop.

This is my general formula tbh, just take things way too far and never let her know if the game is over, its really funny.

[
#23
Temp0
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:04:01 (permalink)
Placing a Leek on the toilet lid before telling her we've got a big leak in the bathroom.
#24
Daniel Snakeman
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:11:24 (permalink)
i always used to chuck my boxers in her face when she was in bed and i was getting into the en suite shower. she went fucking mental about it one day though so can't so that anymore.

also like

"come over here please" then farting

or "come here darling" and passing her my dirty socks i've just taken off.

throwing things at her in general.

generally saying as many idiotic things to her as i can. i also used to tell everyone she used to headbutt people who annoyed her which always made me lol.
post edited by Snakey - 2012/04/23 21:13:23
#25
IKOS
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:12:50 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: cal2

ORIGINAL: IKOS

I used to enjoy intermittently blowing/tickling my girlfriends ear while she was trying to relax/watch TV until she exploded Works well with cats and dogs as well.

Calling her into a room and when she came in and said what, just replying with 'nothing'


i am also partial to this
LOL at doing it to dogs tho

You have to wind your dog up once in a while. Mine used to sit infront of me and ignore the first couple of tickles then slowly start giving me the side eye with a look that said 'that's you isn't it you prick' before pouncing on me
#26
j.a
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:16:14 (permalink)
Wait at the top of the stairs, bend over and pull my bum cheeks apart, then call her name. She'd look up and see my anus.
Farting somewhere, and calling her over and saying 'babe, have you seen this' then stand there looking at her.
Calling her 'my child' while we're were having sex.

I'm not with her anymore.
#27
FixBeat
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:19:05 (permalink)
when she yawns, i put my finger in her mouth and touch her tongue, which stops the yawn mid-way and makes her very angry.

silently doing things to make her laugh while she's on the phone to someone semi-important.

#28
silentjob
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:21:22 (permalink)
Leaving all the cupboard doors open in the kitchen fucks mine off no end.

On a morning while she showers I flush the toilet after a piss, and protest my innocence of it being a reflexive habit. I then sometimes fling cold water over the curtain to give her a wake up jolt.
#29
H. H. Holmes
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RE: Juvenile things you do to annoy your missus 2012/04/23 21:26:29 (permalink)
Introduce her to everyone as 34 (she's 26). It used to work a treat until some guy in the pub told her he was surprised as she only looks 30 and she started crying. She doesn't like it any more.
#30
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