Helpful ReplyHot!Rep an awful joke...

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Original Nuttah
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Re: RE: Rep an awful joke... 2016/08/15 10:54:21 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Willfunk 2016/08/28 09:18:29
I was in the Olympic village earlier. I said to an athlete: "Are you a pole vaulter?"

 

He replied: "No I'm German but how did you know my name was Walter?"
simon.r
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Re: RE: Rep an awful joke... 2016/08/28 01:11:20 (permalink)
I went to a camera festival for a pint of ale.
When I realised my mistake, my face was a picture.
 
I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.
I'm so embarrassed, I feel like I've dyed a little bit inside.
 
Growing up, my mum was known as the village bike. 
She wasn't promiscuous, she disappeared for a while then turned up at the bottom of the canal.
freestyleDnB
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/08/28 01:21:33 (permalink)
Poofs.

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DCZpvZEgPZfg5V8TLMd8B
Jimmy2Shoes
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/10/12 21:30:15 (permalink)
What do you call a nose with no body?.

Nobody nose.
Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/10/20 12:08:51 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Willfunk 2016/11/08 00:08:39
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/10/27 13:47:27 (permalink)
 I need to see my Roman numerologist as I'm feeling very III
gavinx
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/07 17:57:29 (permalink)
I saw this advert in a window that said "television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full
 
I thought "i can't turn that down"
 
Mr Sketch
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/13 14:39:21 (permalink)
i got a job helping a one-armed typist.
 
It's mainly shift work.


http://www.house-mixes.com/artists/Mr_Sketch
bigface
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/13 15:29:09 (permalink)
Mr Sketch
i got a job helping a one-armed typist.
 
It's mainly shift work.


 
nice
beat freak
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Re: RE: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/14 11:56:16 (permalink)
gavinx
A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis. The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"
 
The Jamaican replied, "No, mister, it says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day."




My mum and dad had a Jim Davidson stand up video with this joke on about 25 years ago
sublime
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Re: RE: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/14 12:05:40 (permalink)
Guy behind the counter in WH Smith earlier had the cheek to ask me why I needed 100 bottles of Tippex 
 
Big mistake 



It was called jungle in those days, not drum and bass. That came later

http://soundcloud.com/sublime-dnb
gutlessrhyme
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/14 12:16:32 (permalink)
Original Nuttah
I was in the Olympic village earlier. I said to an athlete: "Are you a pole vaulter?"



He replied: "No I'm German but how did you know my name was Walter?"

Jimmy2Shoes
What do you call a nose with no body?.

Nobody nose.



x2

simon.r
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/14 12:18:53 (permalink)
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian.
It’s like I’ve never known Herbivore.
Dan the Daggerman from Dagenham
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/14 12:19:41 (permalink)
Did you hear about the sentencing for that guy that tried to murder Des'ree?  He got life.  Oh life, ooh life.
simon.r
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/17 14:35:54 (permalink)
My neighbour confronted me about washing going missing his line.
 
I nearly shat his pants!
The Rat
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/17 17:11:45 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby sectionate 2016/11/17 19:00:09
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
sectionate
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/17 19:00:31 (permalink)
The Rat
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer




Possible repost 
BrianBadonde
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/17 19:03:21 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Johnny Quest 2016/11/22 12:12:28
I used to date a girl with severe eczema.
 
She had cracking tits 


Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/22 11:55:57 (permalink)
A girl agreed to go out with me after I bought her a bottle of tonic water. I Schwepped her off her feet.
The Rat
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/22 12:17:10 (permalink)
Good
Munxi
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/11/29 15:14:16 (permalink)
I have a friend who is half Indian.
Ian
Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/12/13 10:16:33 (permalink)
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels
Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/12/15 10:15:17 (permalink)
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
simon.r
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2016/12/20 17:08:52 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby dibidibbidibi 2016/12/20 17:36:00
What do sports direct workers get for Christmas dinner?

About five minutes.
Original Nuttah
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/10 10:19:26 (permalink)
A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he has any luggage.The photon replies:

 

"Sorry, I am travelling light"
JUDGEDREDD
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/10 18:11:39 (permalink)
Original Nuttah
A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he has any luggage.The photon replies:



"Sorry, I am travelling light"



Enjoyed 
Noc
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/10 22:17:20 (permalink)
What do you call the wife of a hippie?

Mississippi
Mulla
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/11 13:05:34 (permalink)
I've got a good joke about pizza I'd add to the thread, but it's a bit cheesy.
simon.r
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/12 11:59:02 (permalink)
"Never mind, I'll find someone like you. You plonker." - Adele-Boy.
geordie007
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Re: Rep an awful joke... 2017/01/12 12:06:37 (permalink)
Noc
What do you call the wife of a hippie?

Mississippi


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