Helpful ReplyHot!Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds

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gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/08/26 16:08:24 (permalink)
well done lynn. that was textbook
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/09/16 17:22:00 (permalink)
3rd degree
Haha! I love the way he never, ever name checks Lynn.


the same woman i caught raising her hand when she wanted to bid on an ebay auction
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/09/19 17:04:02 (permalink)
he likes american things now. what do you think of american things?
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/09/25 01:30:07 (permalink)
do all sheep maraud across farmland while the rest of us sleep? if so, why not make the fences higher? its absolutely idiotic. another reason to despise farmers
Pr0ps
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/10/07 10:37:39 (permalink)
Michael that's not a gadget, its monstrous use of a biro.
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/09 23:44:43 (permalink)
people would say my decision to broadcast was crass and opportunistic. i simply say this: it was not. and also this: go shaft yourself. i would also like to add something about their mothers
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/18 06:37:21 (permalink)
ive had one panic attack. in a car wash. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. By the time the giant hairdryer came on, I was in the footwell.
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/19 03:33:37 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby wiseacre 2018/12/19 14:58:13
i know i havent eaten in over a day, and the only drink ive had is a bottle of warm apple juice a lorry driver threw out of his window (thank you, whoever you are!)
chris77
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/19 12:10:31 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby gentle kenneth 2018/12/19 17:26:06
excuse me, Mustard. I mean Karen.
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/19 17:28:11 (permalink)
chris77
excuse me, Mustard. I mean Karen.


lol. one of the best
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/19 20:22:11 (permalink)
a lot of people think "idi amin, butcher, murdered a lot of people in uganda", but when you meet him theres a whole other side to his character. hes tremendously good at connect 4
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/19 20:29:55 (permalink)
ill tell you who inspired my fashion sense to some extent... ian woooosnam, the welsh golf champ, who i saw at gatwick airport wearing an ordinary sweater, just like all the other ones, but he turned around and - lovely touch this - he had seven suede stars on the back, lovely little touch just sort of elevated him above the airport rabble with their duty free cigarettes and their fat children
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/22 00:33:40 (permalink)
i might as well admit now, before any member of my scout troop publishes a counter-memoir, that i never mastered firelighting
wiseacre
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/22 00:53:03 (permalink)
This is all conjecture or guesswork

no
wiseacre
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/22 01:03:12 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby JUDGEDREDD 2019/01/09 08:07:03
Thankfully I know exactly what to do and head to the disabled toilet with some mindfulness techniques and half a bottle of white wine

no
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/22 15:18:40 (permalink)
i said to her '[my assistant], you are not a sherpa. you couldnt sherp if your life depended on it.' besides, you should have heard the noises she made trying to carry my microwave ovens up a staircase to my study
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/22 15:20:18 (permalink)
six months ago i asked her if she had heard of itunes and she suggested 'bright eyes' and 'for your eyes only'. such a stupid woman
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/27 05:21:00 (permalink)
hes like a large menstruating snail. with a drink problem
The Duck of Death
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2018/12/31 17:31:43 (permalink)
Slappy Kincaid
six months ago i asked her if she had heard of itunes and she suggested 'bright eyes' and 'for your eyes only'. such a stupid woman



 
lololol
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/05 06:30:22 (permalink)
i roped my assistant in, instructing her to scour longwave radio for far-flung stations, and then tape entire shows - pausing whenever a record was played and then unpausing on the song outro - so that she could present me at the end of each week with an audio dossier of continental broadcast trends.

invariably i didnt have the time to listen to them - of course i didnt - but i know she enjoyed being involved, even if she could only tune into most longwave stations by standing on a box and holding the radio out of an upstairs window
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/05 16:40:19 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby JUDGEDREDD 2019/01/09 08:07:57
bear grylls once told me – and indeed anyone who watched that particular episode of his tv show....
⚡ Evade ⚡
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/06 02:59:58 (permalink)
Slappy Kincaid
i roped my assistant in, instructing her to scour longwave radio for far-flung stations, and then tape entire shows - pausing whenever a record was played and then unpausing on the song outro - so that she could present me at the end of each week with an audio dossier of continental broadcast trends.

invariably i didnt have the time to listen to them - of course i didnt - but i know she enjoyed being involved, even if she could only tune into most longwave stations by standing on a box and holding the radio out of an upstairs window


Amazing


gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/06 23:13:49 (permalink)
- 'another scenario that might occur is a celebrity who comes to me and says 'lawrence, i am a practising homosexual and I would like to keep this delicate matter private''

- "very wise"
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/09 06:59:49 (permalink)
i know loads of people called daubney. who doesnt?
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/12 17:37:14 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby ⚡ Evade ⚡ 2019/01/13 04:55:49
no sooner had she eaten her scampi fry than denton piped up with a joke about her having 'fishy fingers'. on the face of it, it pertained to the distinctive aroma of scampi, but denton and i both knew it had vaginal overtones
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/15 01:35:34 (permalink)
i was happy to do dave clifton such a massive favour because he was - and is - in a very bad place. (if i thought dave minded me saying any of this, of course id not have had it committed to print. i wouldnt dream of upsetting the guy, because i know he has a bit of a temper, although its mainly directed towards women)
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/18 04:13:44 (permalink)
i know elton johns with david furnish now but ive long suspected that relationship is just a cover for his heterosexuality
wiseacre
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/18 08:10:25 (permalink)
https://twitter.com/AccidentalP/status/1086161239158472706

no
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/18 19:01:33 (permalink)
theres actually another, very simple way to understand it, and thats to have the decency to listen to what i was saying earlier
gentle kenneth
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Re: RE: Tehhh Teeeehhhh Tell You What Tell You What Its 9 And A Half Thousand Pounds 2019/01/18 19:06:04 (permalink)
this is just an example - its a blown up photocopy of my ex-wifes credit card. it should have 'specimen' written across it, but unfortunately events overtook us. anyway, there it is - my ex-wife. might as well chuck in an 'alans fact of the day': her date of birth is the 14th of the 4th '43, and her mothers maiden name is parker
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