I could try to get beaten up. I could say he's got a... fat head. Call him a 'jizz-cock'. Not actually an insult, all cocks are 'jizz-cocks' really. Be like calling him a 'piss-kidney'.
"Can I get a metre of vodka... with an inch of tonic?"
Come on Mark; turn it on, play the game.
"Ooh, er, naughty... you've combined metric and imperial... you might get an interdenominational... er... you know, from mixing the two measurement systems... a, a hangover of that kind."
Just stay mute Mark, you're a social freak. Remain in your compound.
On the other hand, I could finish off the last of that skunk, sit on Big Suze's dildo and wank myself dry. I could go down that place Superhans says is a knocking shop... if it's not, bang a tab and get a four hour massage.
"Can I get a metre of vodka... with an inch of tonic?"
Come on Mark; turn it on, play the game.
"Ooh, er, naughty... you've combined metric and imperial... you might get an interdenominational... er... you know, from mixing the two measurement systems... a, a hangover of that kind."
Just stay mute Mark, you're a social freak. Remain in your compound.
Come on, look at her arse. Is that the best arse you're ever going to get? Do you stick on that arse? Come on, admit it. She's got a fat arse. [mark hesitates] ..... Say it!
Superhans: It's going to be brutal. On the way here I was actually wishin I was going to get hit by a bus! Keep my body safe, so it doesn't have to suffer from the pure fucking hell i'm going to put it through.
Jez: So, what sort of stash have u brought?
Superhans: You kidding? A band does not take a stash to a fest! You, are a V.I. motherhumping-P! Just open your gob and someone will slip in something tasty; a pill, a nipple, bit of fried halloumi. Lovely.
Superhans: You kidding? A band does not take a stash to a fest! You, are a V.I. motherhumping-P! Just open your gob and someone will slip in something tasty; a pill, a nipple, bit of fried halloumi. Lovely.
"We're gonna have some parties in this place that go beyond fun and actually get really nasty."
Jez: Superhans! Hans: Jez....man Jez: Wow, it is rocking out! .........You ok dude? Hans: Yeah, yeah, it's just......in there......fuck man Jez: Tasty! Hans: Why would people even want to do that shit? Why even go there?! Mark: You told me it was going to be a chilled one Jeremy, you assured me he'd made a huge lemon meringue pie! Hans: I don't know what to think. I have SEEN through the eye of a needle, i've seen it! I've finally bloody seen it! I've pulled open the hurt locker and had a big old rummage round Jez: ..............lets go in Mark: Didn't you hear what he just said?! Jez: It sounds fun Mark: No it doesn't it sounds terrifying! Jez: Whatever, lets get in there Hans: IT'S THE HEART OF DARKNESS JEZ, IT'S THE FUCKING....DIRT Mark: I don't want to go into the heart of darkness! Jez: Oh come on dude, sometimes you've just got to flick the switch, lift the rock and look what's underneath, cos it's not always woodlice Mark: Look, if that party is too much for Hans, the...excuse me hans....THE CRACK ADDLED MANIAC, i'm pretty sure it will be too much for me
Jez goes inside
Mark:Hans, is Dobbie in there? Hans: She popped by but she couldn't hack the hate and pissed off to Big Suze's Mark: Bloody hell Hans: Im gonna write this place off, send someone in there tommorow with some disinfectant and a flamethrower, i've got my sleeping bag, i don't wanna know
Jez comes out
Mark: How was it? Jez: Fine, lets go Mark: What? Jez: Look, i don't wanna talk about it alright, i just want to, a cup of tea, some soda bread and sit down somewhere quiet Mark: What's going on in there, are they.......doing it? Jez: *sarcastically* Yes Mark, that's right, they're doing it *sarcastically* You really have no imagination whatsoever do you? Mark: Well what are they doing then? Jez: DUDE! Don't worry about them, because they sure as hell aren't worrying about you, lets just go. Hans..... Hans: Yeah! Fuck yeah, let's go Mark: Big Suze's? Hans: I don't mind where, as long as it's safe. I just want to be in a controlled environment, have a coke, a tuna sandwich and just mong out to some Snow Patrol
< Message edited by Razor -- 27/1/2011 9:57:42 PM >
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RE: Chill out, it's not Blue Peter - 
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