Helpful ReplyHot!Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace

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Joey Gunz
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 14:24:00 (permalink)
Moist.
Buscemi Eyes
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 14:27:33 (permalink)
Did his wife do a leave-a-roonie on him?
Rudiger01
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 18:21:55 (permalink)
Who ever has invited the rest of the department to the xmas dinner, can you please uninvite them? This is a private night out between friends and not a department night out. If you want a department night out, can you please arrange something else?
 
 
Basically my boss has taken over another team and its all a bit frosty. They refuse to come to meetings, lock their room so we cant come in and generally act very childish. Ive told them were all coming on their night out (were not) and its gone off. Top japes
SmokedEggs
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 18:39:34 (permalink)
The swindon lot eh
Rudiger01
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 18:50:18 (permalink)
SmokedEggs
The swindon lot eh



Theyre little slugs....little slugs with no personalities and theyre jealous that were better at everything
Rapt
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 19:23:58 (permalink)
Rudiger01
Who ever has invited the rest of the department to the xmas dinner, can you please uninvite them? This is a private night out between friends and not a department night out. If you want a department night out, can you please arrange something else?
 
 
Basically my boss has taken over another team and its all a bit frosty. They refuse to come to meetings, lock their room so we cant come in and generally act very childish. Ive told them were all coming on their night out (were not) and its gone off. Top japes


Haha, good work!
Geordie007
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/26 19:44:14 (permalink)
Rudiger01
Who ever has invited the rest of the department to the xmas dinner, can you please uninvite them? This is a private night out between friends and not a department night out. If you want a department night out, can you please arrange something else?
 
 
Basically my boss has taken over another team and its all a bit frosty. They refuse to come to meetings, lock their room so we cant come in and generally act very childish. Ive told them were all coming on their night out (were not) and its gone off. Top japes


Introduce them to doing shovel off their boobs
Noc
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/27 00:46:35 (permalink)
Snakey
 Wings and tings for the squad



Can we make this the new name for the misnomered 'Man vs Food' thread?
SW14
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/27 01:03:26 (permalink)
Rudiger01
I'm sure everyone has been aware of recent events at the Grenfell Tower in London, therefore management has decided to have all electrical appliances PAT tested annually instead of every 3 years as is the norm. As a gesture of goodwill to staff affected by the recent holiday changes, management have decided that any electrical appliances staff have brought from home can be PAT tested out of the place where Rudiger works budget. Items must be left on the table outside the IT office. Anything too heavy to move ie fridges, please email the technician.
 
 
 
The holiday changes refer to days when our place is shut when the schools are on holidays. We always got them off paid but management have decided to have us all in despite theres nothing for us to do and management have decided they dont need to come in. BUT THANKS FOR TESTING MY KETTLE WONT BLOW UP!


😂
The Duck of Death
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/27 12:20:08 (permalink)
 


Syzlack_23
Mate just got sent this as an out of office



What time is it? Summertime! It’s our vacation! We’re all going on a summer holiday (don’t worry, just ____ and ____!). No more working for a week or two (two exactly). We’ll be enjoying summer nights in Spain. Tell me more, tell me more! Alright, we’ll be away from 31st July and back in the office on August 14th. Whoah! We're Going To Granada! Whoah! In the Mediterranean sea! We’ll respond to you as soon as we can when we’re back for good! In the meantime... Holiday! Celebrate!

Have a nice day!




 
this is the worst thing ive ever seen
badder2
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/29 15:07:55 (permalink)
Chaps,
 
As an update – I’ve had the verbal go-ahead.
 
I’m just waiting for the funding to land.
 
Can we pencil in a prestart meeting for next week to get our ducks in a row?
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
U WOT M8 
 
gutlessrhyme
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/29 15:11:13 (permalink)
^^ that can't be real. It's a business bullshit bingo jackpot
badder2
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/29 15:12:56 (permalink)
Its very much real im afraid. 
 
 
dotarr
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/29 15:18:53 (permalink)
I've heard 'ducks in a row' before. I think I felt physical pain.
Whagwan
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/09/29 15:31:13 (permalink)
Our Sales Director used 'park that' about 57 times in three sentences earlier, I alomost burst out laughing in front of the customer.
wiseacre
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/09 13:33:06 (permalink)
Hi all
 
Within the last month we have had 2 incidents whereby sharp knives have been left with the sharp blade pointing up from the cutlery holders on the draining board.
 
Once incident has resulted in a cut to the hand.
 
In order to prevent any further incidents, please take extra care not to put knives in to these cutlery holders or the dishwasher cutlery holders with the blade up, or better still please wash, dry and put away sharp knives straight after use.
 
Thanks

no
Lrrr
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/09 13:34:47 (permalink)
Whagwan
Our Sales Director used 'park that' about 57 times in three sentences earlier, I alomost burst out laughing in front of the customer.


 
My boss often says 'let's talk about that offline' during meetings. Drives me insane.

Shiverman
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/09 14:06:53 (permalink)
Mine all say 'so to play that back...' and then repeat the same thing again, at the end of every break in conversation. They also pronounce data as dah-ta like the idiots that they are.
post edited by Shiverman - 2017/10/09 14:17:15
Griff
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/09 14:10:46 (permalink)
wiseacre
Hi all
 
Within the last month we have had 2 incidents whereby sharp knives have been left with the sharp blade pointing up from the cutlery holders on the draining board.
 
Once incident has resulted in a cut to the hand.
 
In order to prevent any further incidents, please take extra care not to put knives in to these cutlery holders or the dishwasher cutlery holders with the blade up, or better still please wash, dry and put away sharp knives straight after use.
 
Thanks




FFS 
Griff
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/09 14:11:55 (permalink)
Following the recent Fire Evacuation drill, we’d like to share the following with you all.
Despite a delay in everyone realising it was actually an evacuation, we managed to clear the building in record time of 4mins, which is fantastic news.
We did have some staff members who forgot Building Management’s rule of drinks on the stairways or being taken out of the building during an evacuation. 
Please remember that to ensure the Health and Safety of the office and staff, the key things to note here is that no open containers of food or drinks should be transferred across the communal areas ( lift lobbies) or between floors.
If you do happen to be carrying an empty cup between floors, please put down somewhere safe and out of the way at your earliest convenience in the event of a fire evacuation.
On a final note, we’d like to remind everyone that in the event of a real fire no attempt should be made to get back to your desk to collect personal items, everyone should always evacuate immediately. 
Kind Regards
wiseacre
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 15:31:40 (permalink)
Our Landlord has confirmed that the air-freshener will be removed from the 3rd floor disabled toilet so that one of the toilets in this building is air-freshener free. This is being done, in-case staff do not like the smell or are allergic to the air-freshener spray.
 
Following the email that was sent in early September (attached), the toilet air-fresheners are still being blocked. We are not aware that any member of staff suffers from any allergy or has any concern, so please can you contact me if you have an issue with these air-fresheners. 

no
Buscemi Eyes
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 15:56:05 (permalink)
Who the fuck prefers essence of bum hole to air freshener?
Lrrr
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 15:59:29 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Joey Gunz 2017/10/18 16:01:17
MaxPower
Who the fuck prefers essence of bum hole to air freshener?




You, judging by the number of brown nosing replies you've posted over the years.

JUDGEDREDD
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 17:01:33 (permalink)

Will Mac
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 17:11:57 (permalink)
Lrrr
MaxPower
Who the fuck prefers essence of bum hole to air freshener?




You, judging by the number of brown nosing replies you've posted over the years.


Lololol
Noc
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 23:03:45 (permalink)
Slack has taken over email at work for me. It is even worse for inane, pointless, timewasting nonsense.
 
"Dear friends, can I ask that all of you set up your My Everything DiSC profiles so we can can all compare? It takes a few mere moments and I swear it's useful. You can learn things like this: "Express your appreciation when Keith gives you a compliment, since praising doesn’t come naturally to either of you." Emoji here once you're done please."
 

Lrrr
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 23:05:33 (permalink)
Slack consumes life like nothing else. There’s a fucking chanel for everything, then a chanel on clients
Slacks. Even muting it shows you’ve got unread notifications too 😡

SW14
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 23:46:00 (permalink)
I'm still chuckling at Rudiger's mob cancelling staff leave but compensating with free electrical appliance tests in the wake of Glenfell Tower to raise staff morale.

😂
bludfirebob
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/18 23:56:24 (permalink)
Lrrr
MaxPower
Who the fuck prefers essence of bum hole to air freshener?




You, judging by the number of brown nosing replies you've posted over the years.


 
yer u fuckin tell him little man 
 
0-AID
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Re: RE: Post up stupid emails sent round your workplace 2017/10/20 09:49:08 (permalink)
Lrrr
Actually i've just had a thought. Why do you people keep these e-mails?!?

It's cunts like you who have massive inboxes. I now hate you all. Die please.

Thanks m8 xxx



lol that's the sound of a fed up Sys Admin if I ever heard one.
 
I concur though.
 
As for the people who are responsible for these emails, I always wonder how these cunts manage to get past the interview stages.

"I don't rap for dead presidents, I'd rather see the president dead, It's never been said, But I set precedents and the standards, and they can't stand it.."
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