Helpful ReplyHot!Jokes thread...

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Author
Flossy
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2007/02/24 11:05:42 (permalink)

Jokes thread...

some proppa funny jokes come out in theez threads...

make me laugh
#1
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:12:51 (permalink)
Whats got 2 legs and bleeds?
#2
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:13:42 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: bromley09

Whats got 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

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#3
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:14:43 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: djfychu


ORIGINAL: bromley09

Whats got 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

[sm=applause_smiley.gif][sm=applause_smiley.gif][sm=applause_smiley.gif][sm=applause_smiley.gif]
#4
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:17:51 (permalink)
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?














The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again...

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#5
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:22:45 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: djfychu

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again...



[sm=biggthumpup.gif]
#6
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:26:56 (permalink)
Why are pirates called pirates?
#7
The_Funktion
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:27:50 (permalink)
cos they arrrrrrrrrr
DJBAREMANZ
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:28:05 (permalink)
cos they arrrr
#9
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:29:41 (permalink)
A woman goes into hospital for a fanny tuck, after the op while she is in hospital recovering, she gets 3 cards. 1 from her husband wishing her get well, the same from the surgeon, and 1 from dave in the burns unit saying "cheers for the new ears"....
post edited by djfychu - 2007/02/24 19:30:23

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#10
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:29:56 (permalink)
Right you arghhh
#11
Cow
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:30:04 (permalink)
Where do pirates play football?

#12
Moskit
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:33:15 (permalink)
What do you do to the deaf, dumb & blind girl after you've raped her? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum

Whats black & screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Cus he's black




#13
DJBAREMANZ
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:34:52 (permalink)
A woman is leaning out the window of a burning building holding her kid screaming 'help meee'
firefighter shouts to drop the baby,,no way says the woman 'youll drop him'
'no i wont' says the fireman 'I used to be goalkeeper in the football team!'
she drops the baby, fierfighter catches it, bounces it 3 times and kicks it over the fence

#14
bromley09
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:36:05 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: djfychu

A woman goes into hospital for a fanny tuck, after the op while she is in hospital recovering, she gets 3 cards. 1 from her husband wishing her get well, the same from the surgeon, and 1 from dave in the burns unit saying "cheers for the new ears"....


Lol

?

ORIGINAL: Moskit



Whats black & screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron





DJBAREMANZ


post edited by bromley09 - 2007/02/24 19:39:37
#15
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:39:35 (permalink)
Two men were standing outside a pub and one says to the other, "I fancy a pub crawl but I have got no money. Have you?"
The second man replies, "Only £1 but that won't buy much."
The first man says, "I know how we can get drunk on that £1. Go to the butchers down the road and buy the biggest, fattest sausage you can get for £1."
His mate runs off and comes back with a sausage and then the first man beckons him into the pub. They go up to the bar and the first man orders 2 pints with whiskey chasers. The second man says, "How are we going to pay for them?"
The first man whispers to him, "Drink up quick and then do as I say." They gulp down their drinks before the bar man has time to ask them for the money and then the first man puts the sausage down his trousers and undoes his zip. He whispers to his mate, "Get on your knees and put the sausage in your mouth."
The second man does this and then the bar man sees them, "You dirty buggers, you can't do that in here, get out of my pub and don't come in here again."
The 2 men run out without paying and when they are outside the second man says, "That was great, let's do it again." So they try the same trick at another pub and it works again. After the tenth pub the second man says, "I am too pissed to get on my knees again and I can't run anymore."
The first man replies, "Yes, I am pissed as well and its a good job because I lost the sausage about 3 pubs ago."

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#16
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:47:14 (permalink)
A guy was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You fucking bastard!!!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man at the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt of court! Now what is the problem?"
The guy at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen Years I lived next door to that cunt. And every time I asked to borrow a fucking spanner, he said he didn't have one!"

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#17
DJBAREMANZ
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:49:34 (permalink)
what about that one where the geezer gets absolutely pissed , has to crawl home then his wife says he left his wheelchair at the pub
#18
Moskit
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:57:09 (permalink)
What do you call a paedophile pirate?
Arrrrr Kelly.

Gary Glitter and Ian Huntley are sitting on a park bench when an eight year old girl walks past. Glitter leans over to Huntley and says: "phwoar... she'd have been alright in her day!"

What's the difference between a baby and your grandmother?
Grandma doesn't die when you fuck her in the arse.

What's better than fucking five ten year olds?
Fucking ten five year olds!

What's the difference between paedos and acne?
Acne doesnt come on your face until you're 14

What's the worst thing about sex with a five-year-old?
Getting the blood out of the clown costume afterwards

How do you know your sister's on her period?
Your Father's cock tastes funny

What's the biggest cause of paedophillia? Sexy kids

Sorry...

#19
hill billy
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 19:59:42 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: djfychu

A guy was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You fucking bastard!!!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man at the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt of court! Now what is the problem?"
The guy at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen Years I lived next door to that cunt. And every time I asked to borrow a fucking spanner, he said he didn't have one!"


lol
#20
djfychu
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 20:04:38 (permalink)

http://www.myspace.com/feedbacksheffield

#21
Turnster
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/24 20:49:59 (permalink)
moskit your sik dude

#22
Flossy
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:02:07 (permalink)
Whats the difference between christiano ronaldo and god?

God doesnt think hes christiano ronaldo!
#23
_Bezza
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:05:01 (permalink)
Seen stevie wonder's new music vid?










Neithers he..
#24
Exit2
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:11:14 (permalink)
Whats the best thing about shagging a 7 year old? When you pull their hair back they look 5

Your mum rates me
#25
Flossy
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:20:16 (permalink)
3 geezas sittin down the local when one turns to the other and says "ere steve, what do you do with your left hand while ya crackin one out?" steve looks a lil surprise but then turns around and say " well, i normally got the old dvd on freeze frame, so my hands usually on the remote, What about you Ron?" he says " i usaully got a porno mag out so i like to flick through the pages if you know what i mean?" Anyways, they both turn to their mate in the corner whos being very quiet and say... "C'mon Dave, what do you normally do with ya left hand while ya havin a wank mate?" Dave replies, "well... im usually holding a sponge" a sponge? the other 2 think... "how come?" Dave turns to his mates, " well ya see, im normally bathing the kids
#26
DJ FL0W
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:20:18 (permalink)
what do george michael and wellington boots have in common ?


they both get sucked off in bogs
#27
DJ FL0W
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:21:18 (permalink)
how do u get a fat girl into bed ?

peice of cake !
#28
blueprint
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 11:53:19 (permalink)
what's with all the stevie wonder jokes?

oh well here's another:

why is stevie wonder so happy all the time?
cos he doesn't know he's black

or my personal favourite at the moment

why did the scarecrow win the nobel peace prize?
cos he was outstanding in his field

#29
Buck Fuddy
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RE: Jokes thread... 2007/02/25 13:50:57 (permalink)
Whats the difference between and Egg and a Wank??

You can beat an Egg
#30
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