Hot!entertaining drug stories

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MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:27:40 (permalink)
did you subsequently pull them?


#31
MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:29:09 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: jeckal

Global Gathering this year

I was pilled off my face and my mate thought it might be interesting to try sticking a bean up our arses.

Went to the porter potty and began proceedings, but wasnt able to lock the door because the lock wasn't working. So I pulled my cacks down, got my shrivvel dick out, and began to stick the mitsu up there.

My finger was inserted when two birds opened the door and saw me bent over fingering myself.




why did you think it was a good idea to put a pill up your arse?


#32
nameless
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:38:00 (permalink)
That forum is jokes! Far too many funny stories there.
#33
Autograff
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:39:09 (permalink)
innit
#34
jeckal
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:39:16 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: mc-Insight

did you subsequently pull them?


nah think they were in shock
#35
MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:39:47 (permalink)
ate my way through a packet of prawn cocktail crisps, the whole time tasting salt & vinegar.

The last time I dropped, I just stayed in with my sister. We spent the evening naked in her front room, comparing bits, giving each other oily massages, & brushing each others hair, while repeating 'you're so fucking ace' 8 bazillion times. And then at 6am we went to Rufforth car boot in our pyjamas.




what a load of shit.


#36
MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:40:53 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: jeckal


ORIGINAL: mc-Insight

did you subsequently pull them?


nah think they were in shock


i'd be pretty fucking shocked if i was at a rave and opened the toilet door to see some dude fingering his bumhole (or at least with his hands in that area)


#37
Kilik
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 14:50:19 (permalink)
i was messed up at the sanctury for accelerated culture 13, was staring at some guy waiting for him to respond as i thought it was my mate and it was actually some really short asian guy who didnt look anything like my mate and didnt take kindly to me staring!

the best is my mate though, who drank a good few gulps of bong water before realisng he was drinking from a bong not his beer can! o how we did chuckle, and o how he did throw up....violently. lo


Once whilst all sat round a table having a smoke....i managed to chew a clipper to the point that it burst in my mouth.....it span me the fuck out but made me rush like fuck lol
post edited by Kilik - 2007/10/24 15:47:48
#38
Mr Sketch
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:04:01 (permalink)
the best is my mate though, who drank a good few gulps of bong water before realisng he was drinking from a bong not his beer can! o how we did chuckle, and o how he did throw up....violently. lol




http://www.house-mixes.com/artists/Mr_Sketch
#39
Darie
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:04:41 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: **gutlessrhyme**

this one time i was off my tits, and i walked into the kitchen and there was a Hawk eating a pigeon!


AHA LMAO

Pics or STFU!

Go Away Fat Man!
#40
**gutlessrhyme**
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:20:29 (permalink)
LOL

For those of you not familiar with the BAD side effect of pills, (yes, there are some) it is commonplace to chew your cheeks and grind your teeth (commonly known as 'gurning')

We read in mixmag that if you go down to your local holland and barrett, you can buy magnesium pills over the counter which relieve you from knawing a hole in your cheek by relaxing your muscles.

We decided to go out clubbing and test this - as i'm a particularly bad sufferer, i took 3 times the recommended dosage of magnesium, followed by a couple of class A little guys.

Unfortunately, the magnesium relaxed my muscles so much that I shat myself on the dancefloor, and a brown streaky mark accompanied by a foul stench appeared on my trouser legs dripping onto the dancefloor.

Still, at least i didn't gurn :)
#41
evolve
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:21:58 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: **gutlessrhyme**

LOL

For those of you not familiar with the BAD side effect of pills, (yes, there are some) it is commonplace to chew your cheeks and grind your teeth (commonly known as 'gurning')

We read in mixmag that if you go down to your local holland and barrett, you can buy magnesium pills over the counter which relieve you from knawing a hole in your cheek by relaxing your muscles.

We decided to go out clubbing and test this - as i'm a particularly bad sufferer, i took 3 times the recommended dosage of magnesium, followed by a couple of class A little guys.

Unfortunately, the magnesium relaxed my muscles so much that I shat myself on the dancefloor, and a brown streaky mark accompanied by a foul stench appeared on my trouser legs dripping onto the dancefloor.

Still, at least i didn't gurn :)


lolol
#42
Autograff
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:23:04 (permalink)
BAHAHA class
#43
Kilik
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:31:57 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Whagwan

we were standing towards the back of the crowd, watching The Strokes. I say 'watching'; I couldn't really see as I'd been viciously tricked into ingesting heroic quantities of mushrooms and pills and was spending most of the gig screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs whilst failing miserably in repeated bids to line up a can of cider with my dribbling cake-hole. I overheard a woman behind me berating her fella for not having brought any booze from the tent, so I turned round to offer her a delicious swig of apple heaven. She looked at me really oddly, and said "piss off, will you? I hate that fucking stuff!" She sounded really offended, so I turned round again to try and make piece with her. My welly stuck in the mud, I lost my balance and went crashing down on top of her.

Lying there 'missionary' in the slurry, I realised I had one filthy hand gripping her nork, with cider leaking all over both of us. The only thing I could think of to say to her that might appease the boyfriend towering over us was the first thing that popped into my head: "I'm not trying to pull you!" I shrieked, slurring terribly. "Christ, you look just like my sister!"

I'll never forget the reply, and I'll never do drugs again because of it. "It is me, you spazzy cunt. We're staying in the same tent, remember..?"





rofl

thats too good
#44
MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:32:34 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: **gutlessrhyme**

LOL

For those of you not familiar with the BAD side effect of pills, (yes, there are some) it is commonplace to chew your cheeks and grind your teeth (commonly known as 'gurning')

We read in mixmag that if you go down to your local holland and barrett, you can buy magnesium pills over the counter which relieve you from knawing a hole in your cheek by relaxing your muscles.

We decided to go out clubbing and test this - as i'm a particularly bad sufferer, i took 3 times the recommended dosage of magnesium, followed by a couple of class A little guys.

Unfortunately, the magnesium relaxed my muscles so much that I shat myself on the dancefloor, and a brown streaky mark accompanied by a foul stench appeared on my trouser legs dripping onto the dancefloor.

Still, at least i didn't gurn :)




that's jokes!

ORIGINAL: Whagwan

we were standing towards the back of the crowd, watching The Strokes. I say 'watching'; I couldn't really see as I'd been viciously tricked into ingesting heroic quantities of mushrooms and pills and was spending most of the gig screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs whilst failing miserably in repeated bids to line up a can of cider with my dribbling cake-hole. I overheard a woman behind me berating her fella for not having brought any booze from the tent, so I turned round to offer her a delicious swig of apple heaven. She looked at me really oddly, and said "piss off, will you? I hate that fucking stuff!" She sounded really offended, so I turned round again to try and make piece with her. My welly stuck in the mud, I lost my balance and went crashing down on top of her.

Lying there 'missionary' in the slurry, I realised I had one filthy hand gripping her nork, with cider leaking all over both of us. The only thing I could think of to say to her that might appease the boyfriend towering over us was the first thing that popped into my head: "I'm not trying to pull you!" I shrieked, slurring terribly. "Christ, you look just like my sister!"

I'll never forget the reply, and I'll never do drugs again because of it. "It is me, you spazzy cunt. We're staying in the same tent, remember..?"




also highly amusing


#45
aptpupil
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:34:50 (permalink)
Me and my mates went to fabric one night got mashed up and i persuaded him to come for a shuffle in room one. He bugged out becasue he thought all the people on the stage were the tin men from wizard of oz. We then to go sit down again but lost him. He said he got trapped in a sort or circular maze and it took him and hour to find me.
#46
XS.
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:38:24 (permalink)
funny funny shit!!!

#47
Loudwon
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:43:30 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Autograff

"Friend of mine was in a club and was looking to err 'heighten his enjoyment'...

Ended up paying 15 quid for some small pink pills - and to all intents and purposes was having a great time.

Obviously being a bit of a mover on the dance floor, he was soon aproached by a lovely lady asking him he if wanted to go off to the toilets and 'give her one'.

Thinking his luck was in, he was promptly led away by this saucy minx and soon got down to business.

Unfortunately, the effects of the little pink items he had recently obtained were now starting to wear off and before he knew it, my friend realised he was in fact standing on the dancefloor still, with his trousers round his ankles masturbating furiously (much to the sheer horror and amazement of onlookers)

It was then that i my friend decided to go home."



BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA



LMFAO

BW'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#48
microbeman
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:50:20 (permalink)
Its stories like this that make me want to try Acid.

This website will keep me entertained for hours
#49
MCInsight
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 15:53:07 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: microbeman

Its stories like this that make me want to try Acid.

This website will keep me entertained for hours


i only stopped reading it a little while ago. My constant giggling was confusing my office.


#50
Loudwon
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 16:04:36 (permalink)
Have to stop reading that website, is making me laugh out loud!

#51
Corpsey
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 16:43:10 (permalink)
The one about taking mushrooms and the mother hoovering up the pattern on the carpet for three hours is good too.


#52
Law
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 16:54:38 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: evolve

Worst ever was sitting backstage at Raindance, proper mashed up.. was staring at (what I thought was the back of this guys head) who was sitting about 5 feet infront of me... was trying to work out who it was and if it was one of my mates... I proceeded to stare for what must have been a good few minutes, and even leaned forward to get a better look. Suddenly realise it's not the back of someones head... it's someones face. This huge black guy... looking right back at me...lol


Fuck I nearly died reading that, proper laughs from the gut aint good in the office.
Priceless that. Still laughing 20 minutes later.
#53
cliche
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 16:55:06 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Loudwon

Have to stop reading that website, is making me laugh out loud!


innit nsfw for giggles reasons
#54
Millie
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 17:57:24 (permalink)
went med bar one night with a few mates and my fella, we all had pills and me, my best mate and my fella were pillin our heads off in the taxi home, the taxi driver didnt no where we lived so my fella who was sittin in the front had to direct. Me and my mate who was in the back were chattin shit, not even realsing where we were goin, my fella had fallen asleep and we were in the middle of nowhere, i was staring at him and i thought his arm was in actual fact a man in a balaclava and got it into my head that he was gunna rob the taxi driver so i just sat quietly, scared!!!

That same night aswell i left my fella to watch the drinks whilst i went the toilet i came back to the table where we were to find not him but his shoes neatly next to each other on the table, i was confused so i went looking for him, i found him by the lads toilets sitting infront of the door, hugging himself, turns out his feet were hot so he took his shoes off???!!!
#55
Jams
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 18:18:59 (permalink)



Back at my flat after a large dnb session at the End, all chilling and not having a clue what was said 3 seconds ago. One mate is eating a banana, about 5 seconds later he turns to another a mate, tries to speak but can't. 'What's this in my mouth?!' he asks, confused. 'You're eating a banana' another mate replies.


Don't even feel like drinking, or even gettin high
Cause all that's gonna do really, is accelerate
the anxieties that I wish I could alleviate
#56
DJ_H20
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 18:24:47 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: evolve

ORIGINAL: Lethal B

At Accademy, fucked outa my face this girl walks past me and drops her purse, everything falls out and she doesnt notice. So I tap her on her shoulder and tell her. I then pick her purse up, proceed to give it to her to only realise its a stella can!!!

WTF!! lol

lol always used to get stuff like this..

Worst ever was sitting backstage at Raindance, proper mashed up.. was staring at (what I thought was the back of this guys head) who was sitting about 5 feet infront of me... was trying to work out who it was and if it was one of my mates... I proceeded to stare for what must have been a good few minutes, and even leaned forward to get a better look. Suddenly realise it's not the back of someones head... it's someones face. This huge black guy... looking right back at me...lol


bet that put you on a para 1 for a bit lol
#57
thechemist
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 18:27:18 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Corpsey

Shit like this never happens to me on drugs. Maybe I need to take more


absolute quality thread. pure jokes.

i've heard that the more you do the longer you live.............. that's good enough for me.

was playing football once while mashed out my head, so starting chasing the ball all the way down the pitch, running as fast as i can , finally catch up and it's a carrier bag, by this time i'm half a mile away from the real game. was missions across that field

mine aren't as good as i can never remember the funny shit we do @ sessions, just bits and peices
#58
fyan
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 18:34:26 (permalink)
I was at uni, and I was fully into the student loan drugs binge phase of life (yeah, I know, I'm a twat), and had got myself in with a dealer and his mates. This guy was already minted - his dad worked for an international banking firm. He was a fucking student and he drove a Lotus Elise when I started, and by the time we parted company, he had levitated to the heights of BMW M5. Anyway, after a particularly intense session of coke and booze, we started on the hallucionegenics.
Well, I did. This was a mistake - because 'for a laugh' we went for a drive. I said I'd introduce them to my parents. And as I passed out on the A1 going passed the Peterborough sign for the A47, I believed dear old ma was where we were heading. But oh no, I awake some time later on a bench, staring at peculiar symbols on the hoardings above me. Believing myself to be still rather mangled, I inititally didn't think much to it. Until I realised I was actually in an airport lounge.
In Helsinki.

Yes, my dealer friend had known for some time that his dad had a private jet chartered for that very same night to Helsinki. His dad, himself a bit of a 'joker' (ex hippy from all accounts) thought it was a right laugh.
So they *somehow* got me onto the plane, *somehow* got me through checkin at helsinki airport, nabbed my passport and caught the next flight home.

Muggins here had to tip £300 to some bloke who was driving from Helsinki to Paris, and who took pity on me.
Quite how I managed to get back into the country without a passport is a miracle, and I finally returned to Preston three days later looking as if I'd been in a nuclear attack. And I felt like it too.

They were no longer my friends after that.
#59
Mr Sketch
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RE: entertaining drug stories 2006/09/13 18:40:13 (permalink)
My mate and I did a trip in Blackpool and we'd just come out of the hall of mirrors in the pleasure beach. We'd seen ourselves as giants and, more importantly, as dwarfs. As we exited (I had to ask a slightly worried kid to lead us out because we were too confused) a group of young people walked past. One of them was a dwarf. I didn't connect that this dwarf was a 'real person' and dropped to my knees in front of her, pointed at her and shouted "Pete! It's a dwarf! A fucking dwarf!" As the whole crowd stopped and stared at me, I realised what I'd done and we scarpered.


http://www.house-mixes.com/artists/Mr_Sketch
#60
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